SAT Writing

Category - Improving Paragraphs

The Mongols: More than just Another Nomadic Tribe
Historians have been quick to portray pastoral nor nomadic groups as being dedicated to both agriculture and transitioning from one location to another. This is based on the needs of the people and the restraints of the land where the nomadic people were residing. For the most part, these pastoral groups were peaceful, sharing their skills and talents with those around them. Their focus was not on conquering or defeating those around them. The Mongols are represented quite differently in history books. The Mongol people refute the stereotypical nomadic tribes in that they were not farmers, did not contribute the typical products of other civilizations, did not restrict the power of women, and were focused on dominating others.
When one hears the word “nomad”, it is almost synonymous with agriculture and farming, but for the Mongols this was untrue. Rather than focusing their lives around farming and the relocating that this entailed, the Mongols worked to domesticate animals. Comparatively, this creates immense contrast between what historians have portrayed about nomadic groups and the Mongols.
In addition to the absence of farming, Mongols did not focus on elaborate designs. Whereas other cultures were working to build impressive cities that gained prestige and captivated spectators, the Mongols did not use their talents to complete such displays. Perhaps, instead of focusing efforts on leaving a legacy, the Mongols were focused on utilizing the talents of their entire population.
Most nomadic tribes were unwilling to denote equality between men and women; this is not true of the Mongols. For them, women were an invaluable part of the community. Agricultural civilizations viewed women as highly restricted, yet the Mongols allowed women to maintain a higher status in society, even serving as partisan mentors and being vocal in military matters. Another huge contrast was a woman’s ability to start divorce proceedings.
The comparisons make clear that the Mongols were not just another nomadic tribe. While the Mongols were certainly focused on survival, they were also interested in spreading their influence worldwide. The typical peacefulness ended with the Mongols in pursuit of world dominance. The Great Wall of China was built because of the Mongols.
In brief, the Mongols were not typical pastoral people. They replaced farming with herding animals and exchange a cultural imprint for an attempt at world dominance; furthermore, they appreciated the contributions of males and females alike. Clearly, history’s representation of nomadic people is atypical for the Mongols, who were more than just another pastoral tribe.

Which of the following is the best revision of the first sentence in the paragraph?
  1. Historians have been quick to portray pastoral or nomadic groups with a dedication to agriculture and transitioning from one location to another.
  2. Historians have been quick to portray pastoral and nomadic groups with a dedication to agriculture and transitioning from one location to another.
  3. Historians have been quick to portray pastoral, but nomadic groups with a dedication to agriculture and transitioning from one location to another.
  4. Historians have been quick to portray pastoral, likewise, nomadic groups with a dedication to agriculture and transitioning from one location to another.
Explanation
Answer: A - Historians have been quick to portray pastoral or nomadic groups with a dedication to agriculture and transitioning from one location to another. “Pastoral groups” and “nomadic groups” are referencing the same people. This means that the words “pastoral” and “nomadic” should be joined with “or”, since you could refer to this population by either name.
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